Catalan's Datingish

Single?

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 02:56:16 GMT

Hiya everyone. Second blog time! (well, second "well thought-out" blog... ha)

I think I'm gonna open this one up for discussion, since that seems to please a lot of Xanga-goers, and since I'm genuinely interested in what other people may have to say on these sorts of issues (among other things). You never know: your next ground-breaking epiphany could be sparked by someone else's mind and thoughts. And here I am.

A) So I've had people tell me before, even though they still have some bitterness and otherwise negative feelings in their hearts because of a recent break-up (usually when they have been the one that was dumped), that they're feeling pretty damn lonely and would like to find something again soon, while not anticipating anything great. (As a side note, I'm sure it's a hugely common symptom of a recent break-up when people don't anticipate more than being brutally rebuffed by the next significant other to come along--this is completely normal, in my opinion, as I am feeling that right now. Remind me to type up a post on why every male on the planet will probably change his mind about his feelings towards me... or, "The World as GA Sees It") B) I've also had people tell me that they're not going to date for quite some time, and are not anxious in any way, shape or form to jump back into some sort of commitment with anyone--this could also be tied to self-esteem issues and doubt.

C) The third option that, even though is most definitely untrue, seems like it was invented by my mother and upheld by my family is this: stay single for a while and take some time to yourself, even IF other offers come along. Because no matter how good it feels to be in someone's arms, it will feel THAT much better when you're not constantly longing to be in his/her arms, and being there, rather, is an added bonus to your life. (For any nerds out there, life gets a +1! yes!) One of my best friends recently (within the past 10 months) broke up with her fiancee, and almost immediately moved in with another guy... a few states away. That sounds absolutely bonkers, I know, but people do similar things, however mild or major, allll the time.

With all of that being said, I ask you, dear reader, this pressing question: taking into consideration that every break-up is different, and every situation is different, which option do you think is best for a person after being dumped? (Because let's face it, when you're dumped--which, honestly, is all that's ever happened to me--you don't doubt for a second that the other person will able to move on to the next best catch as soon as he/she can reel them in. People who sever the ties seem more able to continue with their lives). For the sake of simplicity, I'll go ahead and label the options A, B and C.

<3
GA

p.s.--Remind me, also, to someday talk about my latest killer break-up--the multi-headed hydra that was reincarnated TWICE, and lasted around 9 months.

So.... sex.

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:39:57 GMT

I was talking with a friend of mine about her last horrible relationship, along with some sexual aspects of it, and whilst looking up information for her, I started perusing "sex advice for virgins"--I'm sure you know the type of article. The one listing 20 facts about safe sex, or addressing teenagers and their problems with pregnancies and "first time" horrors... Well, I'm no teenager, but I found myself reading those lists and articles and thinking about when I wanted to finally drop my "V-card" and go full-force with someone.

I've grown up believing that sex is something to be saved for marriage, as stated by God himself, and that anything else is a sin, bad news, reason for scorn, etc. I'm not denying that I still have some feelings attached to the issue from my religious beliefs, but that notion of reserving sex for holy matrimony has been preserved in my mind through the fear of... yep. Getting pregnant. People can check for STDs, you can make sure both you and your partner are safe... but "knowing my luck", the first time I had sex, even with all the contraceptives in the world, I would get pregnant. And then consequently be disowned. Or disemboweled. I can't really tell which.

That, and, at this point in my life, I cannot...COULD not... support a child! Not in any way, shape or form. Sure, I miiiight be able to make ends meet...eventually! But it's not on my schedule, not on my list of things to do, and certain not on my Christmas wishlist. A baby would be... catastrophic.

And yet, now I find myself longing to feel a little more adult. Perhaps it's not even that--that seems like I'm underestimating myself and my own thoughts. I know that I can feel however I want to feel through whatever actions I choose--being a virgin at my age is nothing to sneeze at, and for bragging's sake, it's not like I've never had the opportunity. I've chosen not to, and thus far, been satisfied with the results.

I must admit, however, that I pine for it--not the sex, really, but the decision. I long for the day when I'll either convince myself that God isn't going to hate me and that I won't be, in any way, similar to the Virgin Mary, or the day when I'm married and can rest easy about all of this. I just sometimes worry that having sex with someone could be yet another part of "getting to know them" before going through with a marriage. What if the sex life kills the marriage? Idealistically, that wouldn't happen, but I know that it has for certain people.

Ironically enough, a male friend of mine (who loves to hit on me, I might add -_-), just texted me with this: "You'd be able to get me up and ready for work better if you were here in bed with me. we'd proly get up, but we wouldnt be getting ready for work lol growl"--HAH!

That's another issue I could address, and really feel like bringing up. I am no lamb. (And now that I say that, I feel completely ridiculous and am inwardly laughing at myself for even making the comment...) What I mean to say is that my RATIONAL thoughts are what prevent me from having sex--not my hormones or my personality. If I had different views on the matter entirely, I might very well be pregnant right now--or something that's a sign of an active sex life. Happy? Hah, that was a joke!

At the end of the day, all of these things can wait, and I'm just anxious for the next great guy to come along and show me what I've been missing; not necessarily sex! A good time... love... something that doesn't make me believe wholeheartedly that men will always change their minds about me. (but more on that issue later!)

For now, adieu, and I hope you've enjoyed this somewhat-brief look at sex from the eyes of an old-ish virgin.

<3
GA

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:03:25 GMT

Just one more disclaimer before I post a real, full-length blog:

I'm a smartass, and very few things will be sacred on this site. My intentions are not to be a comedian, but rather to use my own sharp tongue to expose my beliefs and my actions regarding love, dating, and breaking up. I still hope you all (whoever you may be!) are willing to read this! Best wishes.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 02:46:45 GMT

Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on... oh pah, I've got about 10 different Xangas and I'm no stranger to blogging. Hello :)
Just for a little introduction, I could be the worst of cynics some days and the best of the optimists on other days, but I think both core ideas coexist rather well in my mind. Beware--I'm not sure where I stand anymore, but I feel as if I have no good examples of healthy relationships, even though I'm still compelled to enter into them as often as I'm able. Love is wonderful... love is brutal... can any of us escape it?
(if you can, SEND ME AN EMAIL with full details! I think you might be on to the greatest discovery of the century, possibly the millenium)

<3
GA